The Flat Kairoser mission blends humor with classic exploration and combat. It follows Skeptical Sam, a conspiracy nut convinced that Kairos is flat. Your task is to prove him wrong through a series of quirky objectives, from stomping globes to retrieving survey balloons. This guide walks you through every step, making sure you don’t miss any rewards.
How to Unlock Flat Kairoser
- Main Mission Requirement: Finish A Lot to Process.
- Quest Giver: Skeptical Sam.
- Location: Outside his shack under a rock arch in the western area of Cuspid Climb.
Once you talk to Sam, he’ll hand over his “Flat Kairos” model and rope you into his theory-driven questline.
How to Complete Flat Kairoser
1. Take Flat Kairos and Stomp the Globe
- Take the Flat Kairos model from Sam.
- Climb onto his shack and Ground Slam the globe to “prove” his theory.
- Follow Sam around the path. Use grappling points to scale the mountain and reach his shrine.
2. Collect the Surveying Equipment
Sam isn’t convinced yet. He asks you to collect surveying tools near a wrecked ship.
- Location: Wreck of Big Carl, north of Sam’s shack.
- Enemies: Rippers, Psychos, and possibly a Badass. Clear them out before exploring.
- Equipment Locations:
- By a porta potty in the northwest corner.
- Underneath a ruined building in the north.
- On the wing of the wrecked ship — grapple to the roof, then glide down.
Once all three are gathered, head east to a climbable wall, then south through a small village. At the massive animal skeleton, place the surveyors and activate them one by one.
3. Track Down the Balloons
The surveyors take flight, but now you need to retrieve their data from scattered balloons.
- First Balloon:
- Found along a roadside near pink trees, north of Cuspid Climb. Shoot it down and recover the data.
- Second Balloon:
- Travel past Cloudbank heading north. The Order destroys this one before you arrive.
- Third Balloon:
- Spawns stuck on an antenna nearby. Grapple it free, then recover the survey data.
4. Confront Sam at the Gilded Drop
- Sam relocates to the Gilded Drop, southeast of Stoneblood Forest. Grapple up to reach his hideout.
- Help him upload the two photos gathered from the surveyors.
- The first shows the globe capped.
- The second reveals it flattened.
- Watch the cutscene to close out the mission.
Rewards for Completing Flat Kairoser
Completing Flat Kairoser earns you both progression loot and unique cosmetics:
- Base Rewards:
- Experience Points
- Cash
- Eridium
- Equipment:
- A Pistol (Green to Purple rarity)
- Cosmetics:
- Vault Hunter Style – Flat as a Fritter
- ECHO-4 Paintjob – Flat as a Fritter
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Quick Tips: Flat Kairoser Side Mission
- Enemy Waves: At the wrecked ship, clear out enemies before searching to avoid being interrupted.
- Movement Tools: Grappling hooks are essential—equip mobility skills to make climbing smoother.
- Loot Check: Don’t miss the Red Chest near the Creeps’ spawn point when setting up the surveyors; it’s a chance for rare weapons.
- Photo Uploads: Make sure you interact with Sam’s computer twice to finish the quest.
The Flat Kairoser mission is a blend of humor, exploration, and light combat, poking fun at flat-world conspiracies while rewarding you with unique cosmetics. It’s not just about the loot—it’s about seeing how far Borderlands will go to satirize wild theories. Play Now!
